TODAY marks our one year ‘anniversary’ of living in Kansas City. Exactly one year ago…we boarded a ONE WAY Southwest flight, from LAX to MCI. Mitch picked us up from the airport, and we crashed at the Yap’s place until our apartment was ready. A day or 2 later our cars arrived. A couple days after that, we got the keys to our temporary apartment. A couple days after that, and ALL of our STUFF arrived…we moved into our apartment, and became official Missouri residents.
Can you believe it?! ONE year! Is that crazy? Lee’s Summit has been “home” for a whole year! And what a year it has been!…IHOP internship, (non)volunteering at the Daniel Academy, the IHOP Student Awakening, the futile search for good boba, moving into our new home, snow and now hot/humid, shoveling the snow and now mowing the lawn, friends and family visiting…what a blur it has all been!
In spite of the blur, I do feel God has highlighted ONE thing in particular this first year here in KC, and it isn’t what I would have expected. That’s not totally true…taking a step back, it seems obvious now, that I should have expected it…
Anyway, I would have thought year ONE would have been about learning about prayer and intercession. I mean…this is IHOP, the International House of Prayer! I thought I’d get to see the inner workings of how a community devotes itself to be a 24×7 house of prayer until the return of Jesus. Everything from the cost structure, to the practical mechanics, theory and theology, casting of vision, sustaining of vision, intercession and prayer techniques. And I did get to see a ton of that, very up close and personal. The internship and special project with IHOP was an overwhelming experience, one that I will continue to reap blessings from, years from now. But at the end of Year ONE…I don’t think that was God’s main thing for me.
About four months ago, I was doing my internship prayer hours at an awakening meeting, and God began to speak to me. I could feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me…and I felt this responsibility to pray and intercede, as a father, husband, and head of the household. Not just the ‘responsibility’ to pray, but I also felt the ‘authority’ to intercede. It was like my roles were somehow key to releasing the blessing, favor, and purposes of God into our family. So that evening, there in the middle of worship, I interceded for all of our family needs: money, job, next steps…all of that good stuff.
Little did I know…but my actual work of intercession started much before this evening. A couple of months before this, I found myself praying, a very simple prayer, telling God that I love him. “Jesus, I love you. ” I didn’t hear a message about this, or get any special revelation about this…I just began to do it? At first, I actually didn’t even realize I was doing it! But when I did, I found myself praying that prayer all the time, everywhere, before meals, driving in the car, with the kids before they slept, in the shower, before falling asleep…everywhere! “Jesus, I love you. I love you, Jesus.”
Recently, there have been a couple of experiences in worship, where I’ve felt the full attention of God. I’ve experienced some really incredible things here at IHOP: waves of Glory, waves of Joy, overwhelming exaltation of Jesus…but there have been 2, maybe 3 occasions, where I have felt this powerful ‘attention’ of God thing. It’s hard to explain, but it really felt like I had ALL of God’s attention, his full, focused…attention. And wow is that a crazy experience, to feel the ‘undivided’ attention of the KING of all kings!
There is a passage in Song of Songs, where it talks about how the bride has caught the bridegrooms heart, whole heart, utterly ravished…with just one look of her eyes. We know this is an allegory for us, the church/bride, and Jesus/bridegroom. That we as the bride, have caught the heart of Jesus, with just one look of our eyes. Sounds great, but it is actually really hard to sort out. When we, as the bride, come to God…we think we need to pray, humble ourselves, repent, do all these things before we even have a chance of capturing his heart. But the truth and reality is this: that for some reason, maybe because of his passion for us…somehow, with just one LOOK…we get Him, ALL of Him.
I experienced these ‘attention’ times…where my “I love You, Jesus” resulted in this revelation that I had his whole heart, his whole attention, all of his passions. I remember at those times, feeling…I got you, God. I have you, all of you. With these simple words, the affections of my weak heart, and just one look of my eyes…I have all of you.
Did you know that Jehovah Jireh means ‘The Lord who Provides’ AND ‘ The Lord who Sees’? It’s the same name, same title…because when He sees, it is his nature to provide. So here it is…the heart of my Year ONE lesson…I found that my intercession, was actually to get The Lord who Sees and Provides to see me, to just look my way…and therefore provide for me. My feeble prayers, the simple words, “Jesus, I love you.”…that was my work of intercession. With one look of my eyes, I could get him to look my way, and see where I was…and the one who sees, is the one who provides.
Intercession is bringing our needs before God, standing in the gap, asking, knocking, seeking. But before that…maybe ‘above’ that, intercession is telling the King that we love him, and love him dearly. Intercession is using our place, our position in his heart, to get him to look our way…and see, and provide.
When God looks at us from Heaven, I wonder what he sees? Lots of sad stuff…but also lots of good stuff. He sees justice, Christians trying to do the right thing. Spreading the Gospel. Helping the poor. Reaching the Nations. Healing the sick. Begging for mercy, forestalling judgment. We live in a dark world, but because of God, there is so much light. But I’m thinking, the one thing, that blazes through all of the darkness and all of the light. Is the person, or church, that is saying and singing, “I Love You, Jesus.” It’s the bride that captures his heart, with one look of her eyes.
This is especially applicable now…because here we are, a whole year later, having experienced so much of God providing, leading, guiding…but still needing so much more of him. Today, marks one year in Kansas City. But it also marks the month that we completely and utterly run out of runway. No money. No job. No leads! Sometimes valiant faith, sometimes none at all. But I do have a name and a promise. A name of my God…the LORD who sees, the LORD who provides. And a promise, that I can ravish his heart, with just one look of my eyes.
OK!…last thing…this song really captures a lot of what I’m trying to say. You have ravished my heart, with one glance of your eyes; How fair is your love, my promised, my bride.
admin My Family, Reflections, The Midwest
