jonathan’s blog

This morning, ALL 3 kids found there way into our bed.  All three!  Yes…it’s nice to wake up next to your whole family.  BUT…it’s so hard to get really good sleep/rest with so many kids in your bed!  I woke up, brushed my teeth, and came back to find Noah and Bekah no longer in our bed.  Where did they go?  I found them in Noah’s bed, under the covers, with Bekah reading to him the Finding Nemo story…good job big sis!

Today was Sarah’s Birthday…but yesterday was her birthday party.  And wow!…was it a party!  Happy 1st Birthday, Sarah!  Thanks for letting us celebrate with you!

The next 2 pics I’m borrowing from Lillian’s Blog.  Of all the lame things, I didn’t have any good pics of the bday girl herself!  Here she is with her family.

Here she is…’enjoying’ her first bite of cake!

We went to an indoor play ground for the party and had a BLAST.  The kids had a blast.  I had a blast!…and I’m paying for it with a horribly sore body!  Here are the troopers, ranging all ages, shapes and sizes.

Noah was a bit nervous in the beginning.  But got over it really fast…and was soon climbing and sliding down by himself.  It’s hard to capture how high this slide is…but it’s quite the climb!

I got so tired, so fast…but Noah was constantly wanting to go back up, “More, more…pleeeaaase!”  I was all too glad when Luke came to the rescue (my rescue) and offerred to take Noah up.  Phew, a chance to catch my breath…thanks Luke!

Rebekah and Jesse.

Rebekah and Noah.

A very cool zip line!  I wanted to try this so bad…I mean, how fun is that!  I asked the guy at the front desk what weight it’s rated to hold.  150 lbs.  Not even close…I’ll just have to watch.  For some reason, Kay really liked this thing.  She kept zipping back and forth.  She came to me today, saying her stomach was really sore.  I think this is why!

Jesse on the zip.  Check out the slides in the back, maybe that can give an idea of how HUGE these things are.

Luke…who needs the zip line?  Let’s just jump!

Jesse following his big bro.

So sad that it has to end like this.  Noah…in one of his typical tantrums.  He REALLY did not want to go home.  I think he was having way too much fun.  So…after getting his shoes on, he just lay face down on the floor.  He’s been doing this more, to show his displeasure over things…the good thing though, he’s completely silent!  No screaming, crying, shouting, kicking, wailing.  He just sadly and quietly lays down, awaiting the inevitable.

Finishing up a haircut!

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Warning:  The following pictures are not for the faint of heart!  Seriously.  This poor dude, came home today and went running into the living room.  No one is sure what really happened, but Noah must have slipped and fallen on the coffee table, hitting his head on the edge.  It swelled up immediately…and kept swellng and swelling!  He cried, we iced it, he cried so more.  And then he was fine.  He didn’t look fine, but he was laughing, showing us where he fell, how he hit his head.  He didn’t appear dazed, dizzy, no throwing up…so we think he’s okay.  Some of the swelling went down, but it just looks BAD!

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“So what brings you guys to Kansas City?”

We get that a lot, which is understandable. But wow is that a loaded question…that is really hard to answer! Why did we move out here? How do we even start to answer that? God told us to? To be a part of the house of prayer? To go deep with God? To get ready and equipped for Jesus’ second return? Haha…no easy answers…especially when it’s not 100% clear even to us!

The International House of Prayer is a HUGE part of why we are here. Couldn’t we have just prayed in Los Angeles? Doesn’t God hear prayers no matter where you are? Of course! But these guys have been running hard with 24 hour night and day prayer for more than 10 years straight. Not one time in those 10 years have they left the alter unattended. Out of this constant worship and prayer, God has released amazing revelation, amazing teaching, amazing insight into God and what he is doing in the land. This community has learned to entertain the presence of God, to seek him with all that they have…seriously, just being here it seems like heaven is somehow ‘closer’. Prayer and worship, intimacy with Jesus, it drives everything they do here…the ministry school, the music academy, the children’s equipping center…everything!

The day I quit the weather company in Kansas…no, the HOUR I quit, I drove straight to the prayer room. For some reason, quitting was more emotionally stressful than interviewing. And there, after the fact, I just felt this emotional burden totally lift. I felt free in ways I can’t even begin to express. My boss didn’t take the news of my quitting very well, and it was actually a very uncomfortable experience. I quit, awkwardly walked out the door by myself, smiled to God, and said to myself, “Good riddance!”

I made it to the prayer room and found a seat in the back. As I tried to engage, I saw all around me…treasure. Not ‘real’ treasure…I must have been seeing something in my spirit, because when I saw the treasure I had a rush of memories. Memories from my days in college, when I used to close myself in a closet and seek his face for hours on end. I saw all these faces of God, and was reminded of how God showed himself to me, disclosed different aspects of who he was, took me deep into his presence to show me his wonderful beauty. I was reminded of the Exodus…and the insane revelations God has given over the years. A new way of doing church, which is actually a really old way, the first way! Cutting out Sunday service to become a house of prayer. The Kingdom of God. The Gospel. The Primacy of Loving God.

In that blur of memories, I was made suddenly aware of how much treasure God has given me. And in that same instance, I was made suddenly aware of the poverty of my spirit…and how much I needed God’s treasures again. In light of the treasures in the room, and the memories in my head, I began to ask aloud, “God, give me treasures. Make me rich again. Make me wealthy again.” I wept and prayed that, over and over again. A totally ironic prayer, considering I just QUIT my job, and here I am asking God to make me rich! Obviously, a different kind of wealth.

The treasure of the knowledge of God…intimacy born only out of time and seeking his face. We all know that we need to spend time seeking God’s face…but we also know that that is exactly the first thing to go when we get busy. As a working adult, active in the church, raising three kids, trying to do God’s will, with only 24 hours in a day…intimacy with God is one of the first things we let slip. Spend time with God? Read the word? Pray, worship, interceded…wait on God? It’s the first thing to get rationalized away.

Most of us are guilty of it, and suddenly we are very poor in spirit. And though we can make it, for weeks, months, even years, on the bare minimum, sometimes more, often less…we are cheating ourselves from the intimacy and depth for which we were really created. By not carving out and defending the necessary time and space, we sacrifice really going deep with God. Our revelation becomes old. Our insights are not our own. Our authority dwindles. And it is the mercy, the compassion, the grace of God to show us our poverty and how desperate we really are for more of him.

“God, make me rich. Make me wealthy again.” This chance, to go deep and find treasure; IHOP, Lee’s Summit Missouri…rural Missouri! This is God’s mercy, compassion, and grace to me…in this hour, spiritual hunger for more, is his greatest provision.

admin Reflections

Noah, chasing EVERYONE with an orange plastic duster.  It was so LOUD, 5 kids running and screaming from him.  For some reason, he really delights in his role as the ‘younger brother that chases people.” 

Here they are eating Papa Murphy’s Pizza.  Since coming out here, I’ve really come to like Papa Murphy’s.  It’s a cross between a pizza joint and a subway sandwhich.  You get there, decide your toppings, order your pizza…and they make it fresh, right there in front of you.  But they don’t cook it!  You take the uncooked pizza home, to your oven, and bake it there.  I’m not sure why it works…but for some reason, it really does.  It’s this weird niche of more homemade than dlivery or frozen pizza, but less messy than real homemade.  Anyway, it’s GOOD! 

What in the world is that snow looking volcano?  I’m sure that question gets asked a lot in our neighborhood, because it really is a very unnatural phenomenon.  When the snow was abundant, the Exodus built a “ramp” of sorts, to use the sled to surf down from.  I guess normal sledding down the hill was not thrilling enough.  Anyway, the snow has been melting away.  It’s been “warm” here, with temperatures in the 40’s.  This is what’s left.

admin My Family, The Midwest

I worked at a weather technology company in Kanasa for almost 2 months. It was one of the worst, most desolate seasons of my 34 years of living. No exaggeration. MediaDefender decided to end my contract at the end of September. Our home would be ready for us to move in by November…but we wouldn’t be able to close on escrow without a source of income. This company in Kansas offered me a job and I started the second week of October. God’s provision is amazing, giving us the job so that we can get the mortgage at just the right time…incredible! But oh so difficult. I died many deaths in that short season…not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely a hard thing. God offended my mind, to reveal my heart.

I was at the top of MediaDefender, providing cutting edge digital anti-piracy services for some of the world’s most important and impactful content producers. I was invited to speak at conferences regularly, and acknowledged as being an expert in our field. I was featured and quoted by a number of online and printed publications and even did a radio interview! I hired people, fired people, and helped make strategic decisions for the direction of the company. I was integral in establishing three additional products slated to become their own wholly owned subsidiaries, a viral alternative advertising platform, a peer-assisted video distribution technology, and a self publishing video library product…all cool stuff!

Fast forward, and I’m selling weather detection systems to archaic television stations that barely understand their own websites. I work for someone younger than me, who has zero experience, and is giving me “pointers” on how to make a successful Power Point Presentation. He keeps track of my hours, when I arrive and when I leave the office. My closest confidant is Chloe, a super fat dog that likes me because I give her French Fries and scratch her ears, she frequents my office to sleep, snore, and pass gas. They promise me 3 things during our interview: 1.) flexible hours, 2.) little or no travel, and 3.) I can volunteer at Kay’s school every Friday morning. Within one month, they pull back on all three, insisting on inflexible hours, insane amounts of travel, and displeasure over my volunteer hours. Amazing. I would leave to work early in the morning, before Noah even woke up. I would leave work after dark, making it home just barely for dinner…to eat and watch the kids go down. Almost every night, I would leave the office, look to the night sky and shout to God, “What am I doing here?!”

God didn’t just humble me…he flat out humiliated me. There are too many specific stories to go into, but never have I been so embarrassed and humiliated. I think it was God’s shortcut way of smashing my pride and arrogance that had been steadily developing over the years. But in that madness, in my despair, God came to me one morning…like the dawn breaking forth from a dark night, he visited me and spoke words to me that have marked my soul.

The night before, I had been watching this new TV series called Trauma. In it, there is this ‘tough as nails’ rescue paramedic that is part of the airlift crew. He is coaching his pilot who refuses to do anything other than just piloting the chopper. There is a heated discussion as to why she won’t help out with injured patients. In the end, he finally understands her fears and says to her, “I get it. Flesh is fallible. Humans are weak.” The point being that the pilot couldn’t deal with anything beyond her immediate and absolute control. Machines she could ‘control’, but human error she could not.

So I’m driving to work, just dreading the upcoming work day, bothered that it’s so early and that for another day, I’ll be away from Emily and the kids, wondering if we did the right thing in moving to Kansas City, and thinking about this TV show. I’m hearing this guy say, “Flesh is fallible. Humans are weak.” Then the ray of light hits and I hear God speak to me…clear as day, right there in the car on the way to work. And I just lose it. I’m weeping, bawling, trying to drive, but almost unable to see where I’m going! And in my heart, I know that God is perfect, that he is sovereign, in control, and sitting on his throne. This is what I heard:

I’m thinking to myself, “Flesh is fallible. Humans are weak.”

And like thunder, God speaks into my spirit, “I am not fallible. I am not weak. I am perfect. You spend all day, trying your best to NOT make mistakes. Jonathan, you need to understand this. I can spend all day, TRYING to make a mistake…but I won’t be able to. I CANNOT make a mistake. I am infallible.”

And though I don’t understand the details, I know in my heart and soul that God is in control, on his throne, and wholly sovereign. That even in this desperate place, God has made no mistakes, not a single one. He’s not worried, or antsy, or nervously trying to figure out how to redeem this situation. No, he is utterly in control. I wish I could say that from that day forward everything was better…nah, there were still plenty of horrible times at the weather company. But God did grace me with the assurance that this was all not a mistake. That he has a plan, a good plan…and that he is way strong enough to make it happen. His plans won’t disappoint, his plans are to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope. There are no mistakes with him, it’s against his very nature to make mistakes…and therefore wholly impossible. God, infallible and always on his throne.

admin Reflections

Rebekah once looked at me really intently, and then commented, “Daddy, you look like Hello Kitty.”  Definitely not the most flattering of comments.  But seriously…what in the world is she talking about?

Haha!  Do you see it?…the resemblance?

Aaarrrggghh!!!  I have a Hello Kitty hairline!

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Emily’s crochet project number 2, a loop scarf for Kay…another outstanding success.  Well, actually 3 outstanding successes, at least!  The perfectionist part of my wife is catching up to her.  She’s made this loop scarf in 1/3 the time it took to make Bekah’s.  However, she made it at least 3 times!  Each time, it was either too wide, or just didn’t look right to her, so she unraveled and started over!  Can you get Carpal Tunnel from too much crochet? 

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Near the end of 2004 I applied to some random software networking company that I had never heard of. Actually, I don’t even know how I applied…was it monster, craigslist…where did I see the opening? Anyways, I show up for the interview and this buffed out, bald headed, tattooed up, totally thuggish looking Mexican dude proceeds to tell me I’m not actually interviewing for the job I thought I was, that job was just a cover story. No, I was interviewing for an entirely different job!? Long story short, that Latino gangsta looking guy soon became my boss!

I spent the next 5 years working for this company, MediaDefender. Our goal was to stop the spread of piracy on the internet. Hah. Even armed with thousands of servers, genius programmers, and serious bandwidth…worldwide piracy is an absolute runaway train. We were the best at what we did, but sheesh was it hard to really measure what we did! Sometimes it appeared we could provide satisfactory containment…other times we had almost no affect, almost like trying to pollute the ocean by spitting into it.

Regardless of our impact on worldwide piracy, those 5 years were an incredible experience. God provided me with the perfect job. Flexible hours and a short commute, I came home for lunch to be with Emily and the kids almost every day. Emily was on bed rest for 2 pregnancies (hospitalized for parts of them), and my boss (who just had kids) was really understanding and forgiving of my schedule. I met the most amazing list of customers, content owners…record labels, movie studios, software/video game publishers, and anime distributors. I spoke at a ton of conferences and was featured in interviews and articles. I travelled (sometimes with my family!) to New York, San Francisco, Hawaii, San Diego, Las Vegas, even Berlin, Germany! I ate some of the craziest most lavish meals and stayed in the best hotels. I worked out every day at the gym located at the office. I even hired and worked with a couple of my best friends.

God’s face, without a doubt, was shining on me. Along with all this fun, we went out and just killed the competition. We stole customers, broke into new industries, and emerged as the foremost experts on digital anti-piracy. Four years into it, the CEO and President, pull me aside to tell me I am the heir-apparent, the next CEO of the company. I get promoted to Executive Vice President, and we spend the next few months handing off all the key customers and contacts.

And then God tells us to move to Kansas City to be near IHOP. WHAT!?!? Are you sure about this? Confirmation. The next thing I know, I’m secretly preparing my exit. It’s at this time, as Emily and I begin to gear up to sell the condo and transition out of the Exodus…that everything at MediaDefender begins to unravel. The recession hits and customers pull back on budgets. A huge disagreement breaks out between the Board and my boss, that gets uglier and uglier as the months drag on. The board brings in a new guy to take my boss’s place, a new guy that is totally in over his head, and doesn’t have a clue as to how to get out of this hole he keeps digging. Thankfully, they let this guy go…but oh the damage he inflicted.

I announce my departure, and they bring in an SVP to take my place. I offer to stay on at less than ½ salary to work remotely out of Kansas City…maybe I can further aid in the transition of clients. They agree to a 3 month contract, which at the end of September 2009 they decided not to renew…leaving me jobless, with a house in Kansas City almost done, and no way for me to qualify for a mortgage.

Fast forward to 2010. Now, I’m still jobless…but wow has Jehovah Jireh provided. I have partially subsidized health insurance for my whole family through July 2010. I have what can pass for ‘income’, from a 2009 bonus that I earned from MediaDefender, but was never paid out…those are coming in monthly chunks until August 2010. It’s not enough to live off of, but with a little help we could be alright. Where can we get a little help?…unemployment? No, I quit, so I don’t qualify. Wait…I never quit! I went to contract and they never re-upped me. I never wanted to quit!…and technically, I never did! Guess what!?…we just got our 3rd unemployment check! Oh how God sees and provides!

One year, from where God spoke to us to move to where we are moved and he is totally providing. One year of me doubting, struggling, complaining, and questioning. About ½ a year of me living in complete and total despair, disliking Kansas City, wanting with all my heart for things to just go back to the way they were. One year…of God’s absolute and complete sovereignty. One year of him maneuvering where I didn’t and couldn’t see him. One year of him preparing things, orchestrating in ways that I could never have foreseen. Our God, is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, truth, and love. Our God is an awesome God.

admin Reflections

Today was the first day back to school for Kay and Bekah.  Wow…was it hard to wake up in the morning.  Our schedules have been so crazy lately, today came as a real shock to the system.  Shock to me at least…the kids actually woke up just fine!  Not once, in my entire childhood did I look forward to school.  I would complain, fake illness, do anything…to get out of school.  But the 2 girls love it!  Unfortunately, I don’t have any good pics of this…but Kay went to school in her pajamas today.  NOT because we were late and rushed…but because today was a designated Pajama Day!  I guess they do this every once in a while, where all the kids come to school in their pajamas.  Bekah went to school, ready to brave the cold, armed with her new purple hat and one-of-a-kind loop scarf that Emily made.  We were actually looking for the scarf last night, but couldn’t find it anywhere.  It turns out, Bekah packed it herself into her backpack before she went to sleep, without telling any of us.  I think she was really excited to bring it to school.

I do however, have pics of this guy…since he was at home, by himself, and I had easy access to the camera.  Here he is, lounging in his robes, eating mini pancakes off of his train plate.

We dropped by the Yap’s today, and came home with some really yummy looking cookies.  I’m not sure if someone gave him the cookies, or if he helped himself.  But here is proof, after the fact, that he went to town on those cookies.

Later in the evening, we gave iChat Video Conferencing a shot. (another Thank You to Timmy and Judy, for letting us borrow a laptop until we can get our own!)  Here is the family, talking to Lina, Liz, and Eileen.  Technology is so cool!  Emily is in the middle of telling someone on the other end a VERY exciting story.  The kids have obviously heard whatever it is she’s sharing…becasuse they look like they are totally out of it.

There’s Eileen, Liz, and Lina on the other end!

it’s still a bit hard for Noah to get all that is going on with the computer.  Here he is, trying to give Lina a hug through the screen.

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Emily got bit by the Crochet bug.  First Eunice knit the kids some scarves for Christmas.  Then Judy, then Rosa (at Kay’s request!)…and somehow that all got rubbed off on Emily.  She just finished her first project, a purple loop scarf for Bekah, very fashionable and ‘in’ right now.  Check it out!  I didn’t know she had it in her!…what hidden talents!  I don’t think she has any feeling left in her hands…but good job Em, I’m proud of you! 

I couldn’t resist posting this one up.  Noah got a hold of the “perfect snowball maker”…and started chasing the girls around.  They ran, screaming from him, as he tried to ’snap’ them.  Perfect little brother activities!

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